Many
couples today are choosing to have a non-religious wedding ceremony, or
be married by a friend or family member. Yet an important role of the
officiant is to give you guidance in crafting your wedding ceremony,
often following a predetermined format. If you are going the DIY route,
I want to give you advice on creating a memorable and personal wedding
ceremony.
Most wedding ceremonies contain most of these elements:
- Processional or entrance of the bride and groom, and wedding party if applicable
- Music, literature, and poetry or wedding readings from the Bible
- Attendants or witnesses to sign the wedding certificate
- Wedding Vows
- Exchange of wedding rings or gifts
- A blessing, benediction, community commitment to support the marriage, or officiant's sanction of the marriage
- A first kiss as a married couple
- A recessional
Here is a sample of a non-denominational wedding ceremony.
PROCESSIONAL OPENING WORDS OF THE OFFICIANT
The wedding should begin by welcoming your guests. In movies, one often sees
Dearly
Beloved, we are gathered here today in the presence of these witnesses,
to join ___________ and ___________ in matrimony, which is commended to
be honorable among all men; and therefore – is not by any – to be
entered into unadvisedly or lightly – but reverently, discreetly,
advisedly and solemnly. Into this holy estate these two persons present
now come to be joined. If any person can show just cause why they may
not be joined together – let them speak now or forever hold their peace.
Another variation is:
Friends,
we have been invited here today to share with ______ and ______ a very
important moment in their lives. In the years they have been together,
their love and understanding of each other has grown and matured, and
now they have decided to live their lives together as husband and wife.
THE GIVING IN MARRIAGE (optional)
The traditional wording is "Who gives this woman to be wedded to this
man" but as it is the 21st century, many couples opt for something such
as "Who supports this couple in their marriage?" or "Who supports this
woman in her marriage to this man?" or chose to leave it out
altogether.
AN OPENING PRAYER OR READING
This will generally set the tone of your wedding. It could be serious,
humorous, sentimental, or elegant. Typically, it says something about
love, relationships, or marriages. Here are some examples of wedding readings.
DEFINITION OF MARRIAGE
Here the officiant says some words about marriage in general. He or she
will most likely talk about the seriousness of the solemn vow you are
about to make, and the new life together you are creating.
VOWS
click here for some sample vow wording
SECOND READING OR SONG
EXCHANGE OF RINGS OR GIFTS
The bride and groom say something like "I (name) give you (name) this
ring as an eternal symbol of my love and commitment to you."
LIGHTING OF UNITY CANDLE OR OTHER UNITY CEREMONY (optional)
Many couples are choosing to add a unity ceremony. They may choose to
do this in silence, with music playing or they may create vows to say
about the joining of their families. To find unity ceremonies, and alternatives to the unity candles, click here.
CLOSING
This could be a poem, a prayer, or a sanctioning of the marriage. It is generally the "final thoughts" of the officiant.
DECLARATION OF MARRIAGE
The officiant typically says something akin to "By the power vested in
me by the State of _______, I now pronounce you husband and wife" or
for same-sex couples, "I now pronounce you married." This is followed
by the first kiss of the newly married couple. Once upon a time, the
officiant would say "You may now kiss the bride" but again, it's the
21st century. It seems a little strange for someone else to be giving
permission to kiss a grown woman. So now, either the couple kiss
immediately after the declaration of marriage or the officiant says
something like "you may now kiss each other."
INTRODUCTION OF NEWLYWEDS
The officiant says "I present to you Mr. and Mrs. ________" if they are
changing their names or "I present to you the newly married couple,
Jane and John" if they are not. The guests stand and applaud, as the
couple then lead the recessional out.